“You Will Not Be Punished For Your Anger, You Will Be Punished By Your Anger.” – Buddha

We have heard about anger management, anger control, and facing anger, etc.

You get angry to a varying extent at different actions, people, and situations.

Have you ever wondered what you get out of your anger, what it is that makes you angry, and can you do something about it?

Let us look at these questions.

What Do You Get Out Of Your Anger?

The anger has some benefits.

If its expression is verbal, it makes people listen to you and comply with you.

It helps to create fear in people and make them submissive.

They may try to appease you.

If it is internal, you withdraw into silence, making others worry about you.

Either way, it fulfills your need to dominate or avoid being dominated.

That is a big payoff.

Your anger conveys your disagreement with the others and leaves them defending themselves.

When you are angry, the others deal with your temper and turn their focus away from your area of accountability.

Your anger conveys your disagreement with the others and leaves them defending themselves.

All this makes you feel safe.

However, these benefits do not come for free and have hidden costs.

They impact your health.

The anger keeps accumulating toxins in the body, causing pains and diseases.

Unfortunately, these effects get noticed only when they become significant, and the anger becomes a habit, too deep-rooted to give up.

Google it, and you will get the enormity of it.

The anger makes people ignore your shortcomings, leaving you with a feeling of being perfect, even if you are not.

People lower their expectations from you, and you happily live up to them.

Your performance shrinks, closely followed by your responsibilities, relationships, joy, and peace of mind.

What Makes You Angry?

On the surface, it appears that there is always a valid reason behind the anger.

For example, someone said or did something that you don’t like or something that caused you physical, social, or financial harm.

Maybe someone did not do what you expected him to do, or someone exhibited inappropriate behavior.

However, none of these qualifies to be a valid reason for the anger because a solution is possible without being angry.

There are numerous alternatives to being angry. The internet is replete with them.

Can You Do Something About It?

The anger does not need a reason to show up.

It needs a stimulus.

The stimulus can be a random thought, a particular smell, appearance, color, gender, face, eyes, ears, hairstyle, walking style, sitting posture, words, etcetera, or their combinations.

You can understand it better with illustrations.

You are engaged in some work, alone.

A thought from a distant past pops up, a wave of anger rises in you and grips you.

You don’t want it but cannot help it.

You wake up angry.

You have no clue why, but you are angry.

You meet a person.

A short interaction with him leaves you fuming with anger.

It happens whenever you meet a person with a heavy face and short curly hair!You have no clue, what triggers your anger, and why.

Your conscious mind tries to justify it by blaming someone, something, or yourself.

But that is not true.

The source is hidden, and if you want to eliminate that anger forever and live a more joyous life, you need to reveal the source.

The origin lies in the long distant past.

What you are observing is just a replay of that past.

The source in hiding is controlling the anger.

When you come face-to-face with it, you can do something about it and tame it the way you want.

This is where you need a helping hand.